Hope and Disaster
by Molahsurey
Summary: Charles has to save Erik from his guilt. Charles/Erik This was written rather quickly, may be changed in the future, M for possible later chapters.


Charles,

There are no words that can describe the utter disgust and mortification I feel for what I've done, I've hurt you in a way that I never even dreamed, I've demolished any and all sense of safety or comfort that I may have been able to offer you. I cannot live with the fear that I'll do it again. If there were to be a next time it could be worse, it could be fatal; I do not think I can bare the risk of putting you in that kind of danger. It would be best for you if I were not around.

Farewell, my friend.

May peace be with you.

-Erik

The letter had been left on the small table beside Charles' hospital bed, he now held it in his hands. He had not read it only once, but twice; he was now on his third scan of the carefully worded message. He could feel his heart swelling with emotion, his head pounding with fear. What did this mean? He knew it meant he'd never see his best friend again. But did it mean Erik was going to do something rash?

Charles closed his eyes, willing certain thoughts to leave his mind, Erik not only leaving him- but the world, life. It made his gut wrench with dread.

"Erik..."

His voice slipped past his lips without him even meaning it to, speaking to no one but himself. The room was deadly quiet except for the chaotic beating within his chest. He couldn't let Erik go through with something like that. But it wasn't just the possibility of that awful scenario that made the young professor react like this, he truly didn't want to lose the other man forever, regardless of what his intentions were. He had grown so accustomed to the other man being in his life, become so exceptionally fond of this fellow mutant above all others. Something about Erik set him apart, his uninhibited power, his irrational yet brutally refreshing honesty, the sincerity in his pain. Charles couldn't live without it.

As his head flooded with thoughts of Erik he could feel himself beginning to reach out to him, searching through the void of faceless beings that stood between them, attempting desperately to link their minds. "Erik..." his voice echoed through the expanse, calling out to his friend, filtering out among the inconvenient space. He was growing increasingly worried with each passing second, he needed to find him; needed to make sure he was alright. "Erik, please... Don't hide from me." He knew that, if Erik happened to be wearing his helmet, his efforts were futile, but he had to at least try.

Finally he felt something, a resistance, a strong barrier, but one he could break nonetheless; he knew it had to be the metal-bender, no one else would be expecting this intrusion. He pushed even harder, his head pounding almost as loudly as his chest; Erik would let him in, he didn't have a choice. Already he could feel his friend's hindrance faltering.

With a little more exertion he was able to break through, and what he found there disturbed him greatly.

His fears were confirmed, Erik didn't want to live; that fact overwhelmed him instantly. An image clouded his sight, a gun pointed at Erik's forehead, held up by nothing other than Erik's sheer willpower; all Erik had to do was pull the trigger with his mind and that would be it. Charles almost lost the bond from the shock alone. "Erik," his voice echoed louder, more desperately; more force behind it. He concentrated even harder, now lifting his hand to his head, fingertips at his temple, "Don't do this... I know what you're feeling... The guilt.. The anguish.. The fear... But it will all go away, in time... I promise you," he began to choke up as he uttered his next words, "I forgive you, Erik. I forgive you." He was shaking now, his body, as well as his mind, overwhelmed with emotional stress; he hoped, to all that was right in the world, that his words had been enough, that his unwavering care for the man had been translated across the thin wavelength drawn between them.

Erik felt the intrusion, tried to fight it, tried to hold the other man off, push him away, anything; he didn't want Xavier to feel what he did, to witness his weakness, to watch him go through with such a pathetic attempt. It only took a couple minutes before he was wavering, feeling his own concentration slip, he couldn't deny Charles entrance. He opened up his mind for his friend, a rush of defeat flooding his veins; yes, he was weak, so utterly weak. His body trembled as he listened to the professor's words, the gun quivering in front of him. If he didn't kill himself on purpose it very well could be on accident, if he didn't calm himself. The words soothed him, if he were to be completely honest with himself, but he denied it, he tried desperately to ignore the sentimental feelings that overcame him. "No, Charles... It'll only get worse..."

A tear slipped down the side of Erik's face, and somehow the feeling translated over to Charles' psyche and he lifted a hand to touch the spot where Erik's tear had fallen, hoping to comfort him, hoping he could feel the touch in return, only to find he was crying as well; he shuddered, drawing in a sharp breath. Wiping his own tear away he replied as assuredly as he could, "I don't believe that..."

Erik closed his eyes, he couldn't do this, couldn't do anything, but he couldn't let Charles win, "Don't try to sway me..."

And that was it, the connection was broken with a final strain of resistance, and no matter how hard he tried Xavier couldn't get it back. "No..." he could feel his heart begin to pound again, the room spinning as he worked himself into a frenzied state once again. He sat up in his bed, reaching frantically for anything to grab ahold of so he could stand, but unfortunately just ended up falling to the floor. "Erik..." he whimpered before calling out with more power, "Erik!" He let the tears flow freely now, "Help..!" Surely the doctors, anyone, would hear him, despite the hoarseness of his voice. He pounded against the floor, frustrated, as he attempted to pull himself to the doorway to no avail, his muscles were too weak.

A few agonizing moments passed by as he curled his fingers into the white tiled floor, crying for Erik, before he felt someone lifting him up by the shoulders. He barely helped with his weight, his body shaking and Erik's name leaving him repeatedly. The person who had pulled him up had steadied him the best they could before bringing him back to the bed, sitting him down and crouching beside him, but Charles didn't even acknowledge them, too busy dealing with his grief, his eyes shut tight and his sight blurred by sadness. He placed his hands on the biceps of the person holding him, gripping tightly in desperation, "Erik.. Erik..." He slowly opened his eyes, about to convey his need to leave the hospital, to search for his friend, but when his vision finally focused- his heart stopped.

"Erik..?"

Before him stood his friend, his one true companion, the one he had feared he'd lost. His shock could be seen clearly in his shining blue eyes before he pulled the taller man to him, wrapping his arms around Erik and burying his wet face into the crook of his fellow mutant's neck, "You're alive! You didn't go through with it..."

Erik chuckled, willing himself not to cry any more than he already had, as he returned the embrace, "No; how could I go through with it, knowing it would bring you so much pain...?"

Charles pulled away, sniffling, a bright smile slowly appearing among his wearied features, a hand going up to cup Erik's cheek, "Don't ever scare me like that again." A brief pause of silence was shared between them as they gazed into one another's eyes before Xavier pulled his friend's face closer, urging him to understand he didn't want a repeat of that horrid situation, "I mean it, don't you ever..."

And that was when Erik lunged at him, closing the distance and capturing those perfect red lips that uttered such care for him, stifling the worries that flowed from them. And in that moment Erik could feel the surprise, the confusion, the elation, and rapture that passed from Charles' essence into his own, and it was the most powerful thing he had ever experienced. Every muscle in his body had become unbelievably weak, trembling under the force of their unleashed emotions, and he almost collapsed to the floor; he quickly brought his hands up to grasp at Xavier's body, anywhere they could find purchase.

Charles could feel it too, and it overwhelmed him, he could feel himself being crushed by the weight of it and he couldn't breathe. He returned the gesture, pressing his lips harder to the other man's with each passing second, giving in to the new form of embrace with no remorse. This is what he needed, what they had needed for so long.

When Erik broke away, breathing heavily, his gaze downcast as if he were ashamed, Charles heaved in a deep breath in an attempt to recover before he ran his hands through Erik's hair and forced him to look up at him, he knew Erik was contemplating on whether he should run or not, "Don't leave me..."


End file.
